Humpty Dumpty was PUSHED!

(Before reading, please consider and please, if you would, comment: would this be too disturbing to turn into a kind of children's storybook?)

Humpty Dumpty was an eggwho had a brain and two strong legs.
An expert climber, Humpty found
his feet felt better off the ground.
He scaled the walls of Nurseryland
with a karabiner and a rubber band.

The highest wall was twelve feet tall,
(which is monstrous to an egg, and all),
and Humpty, who was very brave,
tossed up his ropes and then he gave
a whoop, a yell, and one loud Helloooo,


and Nurseryland watched Humpty go
and up and up to the top
and when he got there, well, he stopped.


Nurseryland cheered and shots rang out
until they heart Miss Muffet shout,
“Oh look! Look out! Oh someone, quick!
It’s Nimble Jack with his candle stick!”


And sure enough, the whole world saw
Jack with Humpty on that wall,
and Jealous Jack, now filled with hate
had been the best pluck show to date.
Now Humpty’s gig made old Jack’s leap
seem small as a twitter from Little Bo Peep.


And before Mother Goose or any King’s Man
could warn up to Humpty, Jackie Boy ran
and gave Humpty a shove, and threw up his hat
and hooted for joy when Humpty went SPLAT!

So you thought you knew the nursery rhyme well,
but no one there would ever dare tell
on whom lies the blame. We called it a fall.
But Humpty was really pushed off that wall.

c. Melissa K. Dalman-Furbush, 2000